How Long?... And to What End?

How long will this intense longing encage me?
Dear God, will I ever break free?
I wake up everyday and I try not to think of him
Maybe one day I won't

That is the lie I tell myself
I know this will not escape me
This love is so much bigger than me
I'm eager to learn of its purpose

A one-sided affair brings no comfort to me
It is a curse which leaves me always yearning
Seems so unfulfilling and really quite cruel
I know he is somewhere laughing

But I'm not my ego, I will not hide
Embarrassed but honest til the very end

So strong and so real, though
I'm wishing it wasn't

Tis really not useful
Me loving this way

Perhaps you can help, Lord
Please raise up another

This time make him one who will love me right back
Bestow upon me a true love that makes sense
Instead of scenarios leaving me wounded
Far too often filled with lots of regret

How long will this last?
And tell me, to what end?
Will we both have some common endeavor?

This is sapping my strength
And it's making me weak
Just this once, can I steer my own passion?

Let me not love again
Nothing more than a friend
So my dignity returns in good fashion